What's the alternative?

We all like choice don't we?  We like to be able to weigh up our options and decide the one(s) that work best for us.  Sometimes, when we choose, we make a decision that we didn't want to make because we weren't in full possession of the facts.  It is important that the decisions that we make are made with informed consent.

Last Monday I went on a march to help save independent midwifery.  I marched with a group of doulas, midwives, independent midwives, parents and children.  Why did I march?  Well that's simple.  I believe in choice.  I think that it would be a shame if we were to lose independent midwifery because of insurance being linked to midwifery.

I don't just believe in independent midwifery.  I believe in  midwifery full stop.  Midwife means to be with woman.  What independent midwifery gives is the opportunity for the mother to know the midwife who will be with her when she births her baby.  I don't know a single NHS midwife that doesn't wish for this too.  There are some lucky places in the UK where women can meet and know their midwife, but not everywhere.  This saddens me.  Surely this should be the national norm?

This, of course, is the point where people start talking about the risks of birth.  There are risks in everything and I think that when we are able to make decisions based on fact rather than scaremongering, that can only be a good thing.  More and more women are being labelled high risk.  Pregnant with twins? High risk.  Higher than average BMI? High risk.  Over 35? High risk.  Baby is breech? High risk.  How much higher are the risks?  What are the actual risks?  Even borderline women are being denied choices.  One of my ladies was borderline diabetic.  She was denied use of the birthing centre.  When we went in to the labour ward, the midwife wanted to know why we were there.  She couldn't see the issue.  There will be many good reasons, but each case deserves to be looked at on its own merit.  One of my favourite homebirth teams has been disbanded.  Now women wanting a homebirth have less opportunity to get to know their midwife.  Another homebirth team that I have been worked with has been reorganised and one of the midwives seconded off.  It wasn't her choice.  That same team operates with less midwives.  I cannot see how this helps women have choice in childbirth.  We read in the papers about the lack of midwives, but there are midwives qualifying who cannot get work.  None of this helps the birthing mother.

What can we do to protect women's choices?  How can we support a maternity system that seems to be being eroded?  There are so many questions in my mind.

Mothering Sunday

Today I am as happy as can be.  My number one son is home from university for the weekend.  He's growing into a fine young man and I'm so so glad to have him here spending time with me.

This week I was at the home birth of a beautiful little girl.  Mum was a warrior goddess and she birthed her daughter.  'I won't forget any of this pain' she said several times through the labour.  'I won't be one of those people who forget'.  24 hours of labour.  She used a TENS machine, had some time in her birth pool and then had a few drops of Rescue Remedy in her water.  It wasn't an easy labour, but she made it seem so.  She moved slowly and purposefully through and found it easier when she was vocalising during the contractions.  When she wasn't contracting she was fully in the room.  The following day she told us how little she remembered of the pain and how thrilled she was to have birthed her baby.

I have such a place of privilege watching new mothers be born, because I believe that the mother is born with the baby.  When I think of the way each of the midwives supported her and shared their innate beliefs about birth, I am slightly jealous (perhaps a lot jealous) of the love that they showed to her through that long day and night.  My thoughts move back to the birth of my first born, to the births of my four subsequent children and then to the mothers that I have supported.  I am filled with joy!  

So I raise my glass to all the mothers that I have supported, at births and/or postnatally, with breastfeeding help, with food, with company.  I raise my glass and say 'Happy Mothering Sunday' from your doula whose privilege is to mother you when you need me.

 Mother & child by Georges Hatsatouris

Smoothies, tinctures, capsules and balms

Today was an interesting day.

I have managed to stay on track (okay so it's still January but I might have wandered off course) and attend the IPEN Placenta Encapsulation Training UK course today.  And I was pleasantly surprised.

Now please don't read that thinking that I was expecting to be shocked and horrified.  The pleasant surprise was the amount of information that I was able to take in, the amazingness of placentas and the dips into placental history.  What an fascinating thing!  I have long loved the placenta and today my love grew.

Four of us met in the home of Lynnea Shrief to learn about encapsulating placentas.  She did a fabulous job of getting a lot of information into us all, talking us through different rituals that involved placentas in cultures around the world.  We looked back in history and saw how the Chinese have always used placentas.  We learnt about the nutrients, placental stem cells and modern uses for placentas.  You should have been there.  So much to learn and so much more to learn.  Lynnea didn't hold back on either the benefits or the contraindications.  

We then spent much of the afternoon playing with placentas.  They had been donated for training purposes.  We were able to see the differences between the raw and steamed placentas.  I found it really relaxing to fill the capsules.  Who knew!  I can see how placental encapsulation is such a powerful thing.  It is an amazing life source and not only does it give life to the baby, but once the baby is born the placenta then nourishes the mother and one of the benefits (for most women) is the increase of in milk production... the baby is fed again.

I confess to having been sceptical about the effects of the placenta on the new mother.  Four clients, independently of each other had their placentas encapsulated and all four reported the same benefits.  My interest in them has simply grown and it is quite a natural progression for me to move into encapsulation. 

So... I am now a Placental Encapsulation Specialist and I am looking forward to seeing the effects of that mighty tree of life on my ladies.

Inspirational Networking

On Thursday 17th January I went to a You Inspire Me Community meet up.  We met in a west end vegetarian restaurant..  Those that know me will understand how difficult I will have found it.  Of course, had I seen portobello mushrooms and halloumi... well I would have been in food heaven.  There was a good array of food and many plates were piled high.  I admit to my bias and my love of meat on the plate (perhaps I should have smuggled in some sausages... hmmm.... bacon!).  Anyhoo... I digress.

You Inspire Me was set up by Corrina Gordon-Barnes, who is warm and friendly.  She laughed at my horror at the lack of meat.  The women (and men) that I met at the networking lunch were from a range of backgrounds, from the woman who sources fair trade materials and makes (what I like to call) trousers to slouch in to Authenticity Coach, Laura Ahnemann.  

Corrina Gordon-Barnes

Corrina settled us all in with lunch and then we had a brief talk by Lisa Lister about writing, blogging, getting work into magazines and the ever popular book that we are all in the middle of creating.  She was funny and down to earth and if you look at her CV... she has put in the work.  A short break (you know, bathroom, grab another drink or a plate of cheesecake... yes I went for cheesecake) and then it was time for speed networking.  We were either birds or trees (I swapped to become a tree).  The birds went from table to table, introducing themselves and talking about what they wanted from the meet up.  The trees stayed seated but had the same brief.  Talk, learn, gain, give.  There was so much to learn if you were open for it, and I would imagine that going to a networking event meant that you were open to learn.  Conflict resolution, yoga, sparkling conversation, accountancy, coaching for Mindful Mamas and a South London IBCLC all under one roof.

Lisa Lister

There was a lot of chatter and a fabulous buzz of energy in the room.  It was an amazing afternoon.  I was filled with excitement and enthusiasm.  Not a bad start to my 2013 plan to attend workshops, courses and networking events.  I'm so enthused that I have already booked on to the 18th April event, featuring Samantha Clarke of Zukuri UnLtd.  She is one stylish individual and I loved meeting her.

Samantha Clarke

Of course this post is full of links to some of the people that I met.  Well.. it was a networking event.  I will be going along with my sister Cheryl who bakes rhum cakes and my plan is to eat some of the yummy onion rings that I missed the first time round.  Fret not, I will take mints or sip some mint tea to sweeten my breath for chatting. Now... any one have tips for smuggling in bacon?

Three mung beans, a banana and a brussel sprout

Yesterday a little calm left my life. My clients won't notice the loss, but they will be a little poorer for it.

My beautiful friend, Lady Calm, died yesterday.  

She was the one that I would call or text in a panic when I opened a client's fridge and it had the strangest foods or the least amount of food that I'd ever seen.  "Lady Calm", I'd say, "I have three mung beans, a banana and a brussel sprout.  What on earth am I going to make with that?".  You see, I can cook.  My clients appreciate the meals that I put in front of them.  They are normally good nutritious meals that help build their strength and feed their partners when they return home from work.  They are meals that allow my ladies to sleep during the day, knowing that there was one less thing to have to think about.  They are meals that show my love for my ladies and their new families and my support in the early days.  They are the meals that caused one client's husband to vow to buy an Aga if I would stay (I love Agas - I have no room for one, but in my dream home, there she is.  Centre stage!).  Sometimes however, I open the fridge and the contents or lack thereof, scare me.  Cue Lady Calm.  

I remember texting her once, "I can only find chickpeas and an onion".  "What spices can you find?" she replied.  I remember rummaging around the cupboard looking for more than salt and pepper.  There at the back was a mild curry powder, probably long forgotten.  It was hidden behind another tin of chickpeas.  "Chickpea fritters" she said.  And so that was lunch. Chickpea fritters and an incredibly happy client.  "Ooh", she said, "I would never have made these.  They are lovely!"

Another client had eggs, courgettes and onions.  Frittata.  Good hot or cold.  Another had lamb and apricots.  A lamb tagine.  Lady Calm had me making pastry out of the plain flour found in one cupboard to make a quiche and a chicken pie with the roast leftovers.  She constantly told me that I should carry a little pouch of spices because so many homes had very little.  She loved the homes that had well stocked fridges and spice racks (we both screamed with joy at the homes with drawers full of spice).  I would make my family staples, jerk chicken, a beef curry.  I would make solid family meals.  Shepherd's Pie, beef in Guinness (or red wine) casserole, a rich and creamy lasagne.  Lady Calm's Lamb Tagine is loved across London.  But of course, my ladies never knew about my secret weapon.  They had no idea that the contents of their fridge and cupboard had been text across town to my darling friend. 

We talked about writing a book, unsure whether to market it at doulas or new mums.  Some of Lady Calm's recipes made it home with me.  Lamb tagine (which it had never occurred to me to make until that day 4 years ago) is now a family favourite.  I am no longer afraid of pastry, cos I make a lovely pastry.  

This year, I will make a special batch of marmalade and I will use Lady Calm's recipe.  I will share it with you, so that if you fancy making some, you can spread it on your toast and raise your cup to Lady Calm.

Ok so first you have to sterilise the jars by boiling them in water for about 10 mins or heating them in an oven for about 7 mins.

Then take about 4-5 seville oranges (approx 500g in weight) and peel off the zest with a veg peeler. (the bit she missed: when you peel the zest off at the beginning, you cut it into fine strips and toss it into the pan that you have passed the puree mush through.) Then cut them in half and scoop out the pith and flesh, including the pips and juice into a bowl. Then puree the lot with a hand blender (or in a processor) and press it through a sieve into a heavy bottomed pan.
Then add the juice of a lemon into the pan and 1.4litres of water. Bring the pan to the boil and let simmer for about an hour until it has reduced by half. Then add 1.1kg of sugar and stir until it has dissolved. Simmer for 10 -15 mins until a teaspoon of it wrinkles when you drop it onto a cold saucer from the fridge.

Then let it cool down for about 10 mins before pouring it into jars. Voila 

This recipe makes about 3 jam jars of marmalade

My life is a little sadder today, but I will celebrate my beautiful friend.  She loved a good bottle of red and she loved good food.  So, once I am back off call, I am going to take myself to a good restaurant and buy a bloody good meal with a stonking red and I am going to remember my wonderful, vibrant,  beautiful friend.  I may have lost my secret weapon, but she will always occupy a piece of my heart.

Goodnight 2012. Good morning 2013.

Wow! 2012 is about to end.  

Had to happen really.  Time moves on.

So, what's ahead for 2013?  Well this year I will be doing more studying and writing.  I have a course that I'm in the middle of writing, but more of that in the New Year.  I have booked into MAMA Conference 2013 and am really looking forward to it.  This year I'm going up a day early and leaving the following day.  This will allow me to breathe and reflect on the things that I've heard and the people I've met, rather than rushing back home.  Of course one of my past clients has now booked me for a baby whose guess date is around then.  I have a fabulous back up doula on standby, but am praying that she births before I leave. 

Having seen the amazing affects of placental encapsulation, I have decided to train to become an encapsulist myself. I come at all things with a gentle sense of cynicism, and become the strongest of converts.  It will be an interesting time I think.

In May I will be attending Penny Simkin's FROM TRAUMA TO TRIUMPH: Understanding and Healing the Effects of Trauma and Sexual Abuse on Childbearing Women.  I'm looking forward to that. I wanted to go a Penny Simkin workshop a couple of years ago, but my on call status prevented me.  This time, if I'm on call, I will have to rely on a back up doula.  At the moment though, I will have just come off call.  Whatever happens, I do believe that we are at the births we are meant to be at.  

All of this study will start with a time of inspiration as I attend a You Inspire Me Community Meet up hosted by Corinna Gordon-Barnes.  A gorgeous sister doula, Maisie Hill told me about her and so I'm excited by it.

2012 was incredibly exciting for me.  I saw the physiological birth of twins, VBACs, HBACs, long slow labours and incredibly fast labours.  I'm looking forward to the births of 2013 and I'm looking forward to enhancing my knowledge and meeting more and more people within this amazing world of birth.

I wish you joy, health, happiness and laughter in 2013.  Happy New Year!

Christmas wishes

Suddenly it's Christmas again.

I've been off call for about 3 weeks now.  It's the longest I've been off call for ages.  I had two clients go into labour on the same day (back up at the ready) and the first gave birth just after 2pm and the second waited a couple more days.  Both births were what the women were hoping for.  The first a VBAC - Vaginal Birth After Caesarean, the second, a waterbirth, following a very long latent phase.  Both beautiful births.  Two happy families left behind me. Just the way I like it.

So what next for me?  Well 2012 is coming to a close.  It doesn't seem but yesterday that I was writing about my hopes for 2012.  Well, I wasn't disappointed.  I saw some amazing births.  What a privilege to be a part of them.  I know that I say that all the time, but I really really mean it.  What a privilege.  I am blessed amongst women.  I was invited to talk on blog radio with Empowered Papa.  Exciting times. 

So 2013 is knocking at the door.  And I know the wish that I have for this Christmas that I would love to see.  I want to see women have informed choice and informed consent about birth and I want them to hear the positive birth stories that are out there.  I will do my best to be a part of that grass roots birth movement.  I would love to see Agnes Gereb freed and for homebirth to be an option for all women across the world.  Human rights in childbirth is a cause close to my heart.  Well, birth is the field in which I work.  It doesn't take a genius to work out how much money would be saved if women were supported in their birthing choices, freeing up time and space for the women who need obstetric support.  We need the doctors and the specialists, but we need them for the women that need them, not every Tamsin, Dorothea and Harriet.  How can you give me the best Christmas present possible? (Why thank you very much).  Click on to the Freedom for birth link, join in the Positive Birth movement and tell your good birth story.  

And so from me and mine to you and yours... Have a wonderful Christmas and a joyous New Year